Secret track! More to life than school, work and getting married?

Secret track, "Dear Diary," revealed!

No, Hayley and the Crushers won't be playing this super secret spoken-word track at Record Store Day  this Saturday, April 16, or ever for that matter, but you can listen to it here! Sweet bongos by Dan Keller. Guitar and spoken word mumbo jumbo by Hayley Crusher Cain and bass by Dr. Cain. Seagulls and surf by nature.

A transcript from the secret track, "Dear Diary:"

Dear Diary, I skipped school for the first time today. It was strangely groovy. Nothing seemed at all different. I just wasn't in class. I watched from the bleachers as everyone filed into home ec. But I didn’t go. I couldn’t take them staring at me with their prying peepers and their square sensibilities. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I hitched a ride with the Trantulas to the beach. They’re wild, sure, but they make sense. Nothing in this whole big crazy world jives anymore.

Music, dancing, and having fun—that’s my bag. Still, somehow the world comes around the knock you down. Not for the tarantulas. Tommy said there’s other stuff to do in life besides school, work, and getting married. Is there? I hope so. That would be righteous. We stayed at the beach all day and into the night. We fed the seagulls candy bars and drank beer. It tasted funny, but I liked it.

I learned how to “shot gun” one, and I got it all over my new dress mom bought me, but that’s OK. I am going to make my own clothes now, just like MaryAnne. She’s the ultimate. She's where it's at and knows how to let loose. Talk about dancing! She can wear the wax off a record any night of the week!!!

 The bonfire was the living end. I danced with MaryAnne all night until I couldn’t anymore, and then we fell asleep in the back of Tommy’s wheels. In the morning, everyone had jetted the scene and the fire was almost kaput. MaryAnne and I went down to the beach with pounding headaches, and there was Tommy’s leather jacket. Just laying there in the sand. We looked all over the place for him!

DIARY, I ALMOST HAD A REAL LIFE WIG OUT SESSION!!!

The seagulls were still there… I guess they thought we had more candy. Off in the distance, MaryAnne spotted something. “Look!” she yelled, and she was flipping her lid, pointing out at the waves.

I never thought I’d say this, but I think I’m in love with a surfer!!!!

Forever Mortified,
-G

Wanna hear the whole EP? Go here, y'all!